dear dad,

i know you haven't cared in awhile now, about me or my life. you can swear up and down that you do. but i know you don't. your new girlfriend is all that matters to you, i haven't been to your place since last august, you only see me four hours every other weekend, because you mom makes you, but i called you today, and you acted like i was a bother, a pain, i don't understand, i know you dont care, but right now, cant you just pretend? can't you put me first one time? because im scared daddy. im scared for my appointment tomorrow, im scared for what the results are . im scared i wont be okay . im scared what might happen. i just wish you were here for me, but you don't even care, but i know you can't even act like you do. because you don't know how to be a dad. you never grew up, you never learned how to care for anyone but yourself. i miss being daddys little girl, when only i mattered in your world. but its your fault, you lost that, and at this point i don't think you'll ever gain it back.... someday you'll realize what you did and all you put me through, someday you will wish you could take it all back, why cant today be someday just answer me that? what did i do to lose you? you never were the greatest, but at least you were around?